Thursday, January 29, 2009

Not Ferrari Related

Today I put the final touches on my plan to help stabilize the economy and put America back on the path of unsustainable consumption. What had been troubling me was how to dispose of all the toxic assets on the balance sheets of banks and companies. How can we dispose of these assets without causing a burden to the taxpayers? Here is my though. Position a set of the toxic assets in the collision chamber of the Large Hadron Collider, crash two particles together, I suggest a Madoff and a Lehman, at approximately the 99.99999% the speed of light and use the resulting tiny black hole to suck the toxic assets into another dimension or squash them into non-existence. This method of disposing of the toxic assets provides the additional benefit of giving any tiny black holes created by the collider something other to chew on than, say, the world and as we seem to have a nearly inexhaustible supply of toxic assets we can continue this process and advance scientific understanding for some time.

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